Illness. Pain. The mind wants solutions… suggesting… trying… what if this, what if that…. it wants to escape the body pain… now! It’s so persistent in its quest to stop this actual ‘what is’ state. Jibber-jabbering away wanting to be helpful. I’m sitting here watching it do its thing… creating fear, scary thought, anxiety stories, all kinds and varieties of stories. I used to resist the mind and the body and the stories, but that just kept me tethered even more. So, I watch it do its thing. Jibber-jabber… when will it?… what if?… stop me in my tracks writhe, grimace involuntarily; disapprove of it as I’m sending it love and approval; call out to Uriel, Lester, god god god, a friend… what a cacophonous symphony. Not a distraction. Not to be denied, ignored, or by-passed. But to have the courage to dive into the apparent chaos where peace, pain, noise, silence, whatever-ness, and all of it resides. This is the challenge of illness… and life.
Courage to be with all of it, and to let it be all of what it is. Until it isn’t.