Being With Pain


Illness. Pain. The mind wants solutions… suggesting… trying… what if this, what if that…. it wants to escape the body pain… now! It’s so persistent in its quest to stop this actual ‘what is’ state. Jibber-jabbering away wanting to be helpful. I’m sitting here watching it do its thing… creating fear, scary thought, anxiety stories, all kinds and varieties of stories. I used to resist the mind and the body and the stories, but that just kept me tethered even more. So, I watch it do its thing. Jibber-jabber… when will it?… what if?… stop me in my tracks writhe, grimace involuntarily; disapprove of it as I’m sending it love and approval; call out to Uriel, Lester, god god god, a friend… what a cacophonous symphony. Not a distraction. Not to be denied, ignored, or by-passed. But to have the courage to dive into the apparent chaos where peace, pain, noise, silence, whatever-ness, and all of it resides. This is the challenge of illness… and life.
Courage to be with all of it, and to let it be all of what it is. Until it isn’t.
mu, 02/15/2016

Ojai, CA

Just Be Yourself…

Ramana Maharshi said self-realization is just being ones self. Not knowing or becoming anything.

That’s not necessarily an Absolute Truth, but that is what one man said, because he found what worked for him. People connected with what he found worked for himself and wanted to imitate or achieve that. And it could be any or all other spiritual ‘teachers’ ‘gurus’ ‘masters’ as well.

I see people really struggling to achieve a certain spiritual ‘level’ or ‘state’. Believing there is somewhere to get to, some thing or state to accomplish in order to be ‘enlightened’, or awakened or Realized. Thinking they must become something or someone other than they are to get ‘there’, wherever they think or have heard ‘there’ is. I think it’s much simpler than most ever realize (pun intended). When Everything is holy (‘spiritual’), it’s not a separate place or state of being to get to. As I always say, it’s All connected. It’s All God. There is nothing that is not. Including me, including you. Just be yourself.

We ALL stumble around in the dark. Every human ever in a body – nobody is/was excluded. Some have found something that works for them, that makes this experience easier (or easier to cope with trauma, pain, suffering etc.) temporarily or for however long. It works for them. That’s all. But it is not necessarily the highest/ultimate/be all or end all for everyone else.

Some things are an inherent part of this experience. There will always be what we call ‘ego,’ fear, suffering, and all the ‘good’ stuff as well. For me, allowance of all works. Befriending the ego. Befriending the fear. Befriending all of it and allowing it to stay…or go. It’s not always easy, but it’s easier than fighting with, disapproving of, or resisting what is or apparently is. It can be challenging for me during times of extreme pain or discomfort. But when I am in the center of that ‘either way is okay’ place… it’s All holy and all god… it is okay to stay in this body, or not be in this body… there, there is peace.

There, I am not knowing or becoming anything. I am just being myself. There, I feel free.

mu
December 13, 2014